EPISODE 4: DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

The next phase of my ENDLESS JOURNEY was the kind that tries all men’s and women’s souls.

I returned to graduate school in 1980 at the University of Maryland in College Park, after nine years of traveling the world. 

Following college graduation, I traveled through Europe, much of the United States, Mexico and Canada. I worked at the University of Maryland and at the University of Colorado doing research.

After absorbing many cultures, languages and people, I had to return to grad school to study all the different fields of psychology, to integrate them together into a new paradigm, now known as Quantum Field Psychology. 

But nothing could have prepared me for the blood bath of graduate school.

Maryland had become the number one school in the country. As a result, it attracted highly competitive people, graduates from Harvard, Ohio State, Yale, Stanford and other top schools.

Many of these were highly intelligent people, but others got there by back-stabbing and climbing their respective corporate ladders.

There was one triumvirate of power who sought to destroy all competition, a woman and two men. She was rumored to have had questionable relationships with these two, and used them as dupes to attack her perceived competitors.

Every night I would return to my graduate student apartment in College Park, the Cockroach Gardens, pull the knives out my back and listen to the Horse-Wegian upstairs.

She was a Norwegian woman who wore wooden shoes on a wooden floor, dragging a table across the floor countless times per day, whenever it was time to feed her child.

And no doubt used her shoes at times to attack the roaches.

CLIP-CLOP, CLIP CLOP. To infinity.

I asked her if she could take the shoes off indoors, and she impolitely refused. Who was I to question her?

Thanks for letting me sleep.

No where to escape. No place to rest, and a daily world composed of slithering reptiles and a few good friends. 

I’m really not kidding.

Fear, anxiety and intense competition brings out the worst in many people. 

The orchestra of personality disorders at the university played their symphonies of chaos with unabandon.

Most students in grad school described it as an endless tunnel with no light at the end, a relentless gauntlet of vicious attacks, rumor-mongering and blatant cruelty to others.

And these were going to be psychologists?

I was shocked by the hypocrisy.

I eventually came to understand personality disorders, deep level fixations that occur early in childhood, that drive the person through life, often unrecognized.

The woman in the triumvirate of power was a borderline personality disorder, a deeply troubled person who manipulates and uses others, has enormous mood swings, and a rejection syndrome at her core.

One of the males was a narcissistic personality disorder, a self-worshiping egotist who prances from one scenario to another and demands to be put on a pedestal by his subjects.

Any subject who refuses his dominion is viciously attacked. 

One day I explained to him, “The level of one’s arrogance occurs in direct proportion to the level of his ignorance.”

He was stunned, and began mumbling incoherently something about his mother. He shuffled off down the hall, throwing fake karate punches in the air.

The other guy was a male borderline, with many confused issues. He almost got into a fight with another student, whom he had abused verbally.

The three virtually destroyed that class, but they failed in their miserable attempts to destroy the careers of others. One of their victims I coached to stay in school, and he later became a great psychology professor.

The hate-mongers lost.

I learned from this and many other episodes to grow mental and emotional Kevlar, to take nothing personally, let no one abuse you and always fight back.

It is shocking how many people in the world of mental health are personality disorders, struggling to work out their issues.

But take heart, some do eventually become good therapists in spite of themselves.

In any case, I was the third student in 20 years to graduate in four years. It was a grueling program, and most students took five to eight years to finish. 

When asked by other students why I did it so quickly, I told them it was because I hated it so much I drove relentlessly through it. Some laughed at this, others cried inwardly, remembering. 

But from much suffering, great things can be born.

From these experiences, I developed and used all three of the crystalline powers of mind, and much more, now revealed in our film, The Endless Question. 

A film that takes you on a journey of self-discovery.

It is more than a film, it is a movement.

Born from blood, sweat, tears and a titanium will, we did the hard work for you.

It is now waiting, idling on the horizon, preparing to be unleashed like a tsunami of light on the world.

Unstoppable.

Unimpeded by the illusions of others, the bygone fixations of false beliefs or miscreant emotions.

We can’t wait for you to see it !

Remember, it’s never too late to begin forever.

The Endless Question is not just a movie, it is truly a movement !

More on this later, and the programs and coaching to come.

To your great success,

Dr. Ron, March 17, 2019.